I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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