so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
