every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize
