remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
