you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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