Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
they need to just BURY HIM!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We're too hungover to prance.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize