yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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