PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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