He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
