farters have to be the big spoon...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
