Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
