it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
