I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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