Who did Billy Mays play for?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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