We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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