My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize