Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
A bitchslap is in order.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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