we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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