so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize