It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
