Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
sarcasm needs its own font
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
