We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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