i just google imaged poop.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
