So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize