this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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