I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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