You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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