All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Sorry about my life...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
