I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
