It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
