I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
that may or may not have been my penis.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
