it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
