the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
