we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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