And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
