You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
