Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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