i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
