I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize