im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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