I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize