you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
babies were throwing up all over the place
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize