Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
