I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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