I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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