No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
