Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Can I color on your dick again?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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