I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
