Whatcha textin bout Willis?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My day in three words: secret purse cake
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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