he puts the penis in happiness.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Sorry about my life...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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