I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize