These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
