What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
