I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
