Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
