I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
