I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
