your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
