I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
love makes seman taste better
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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