Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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