My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
