I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
