i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He kissed a someone with a penis
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You are a genius and a whore.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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