Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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