So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
