how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
